My children love the McDonald's playland, so today my wife and I decided to pack the children into the mini-van and head on over to McDonald's over the lunch hour.
We started off with me watching the children while Heidi ordered our lunches, so that our children could be busy playing while the food was being ordered and prepared.
We then had our lunch, followed by some more play time. All in all it was a wonderful start to the afternoon.
When it was time to go, my eldest son decided to make a run for it, and if you've ever seen him, you'll know just how quickly he can accelerate. I was at the furthest point from an exit, and from my vantage point, I can see my son navigating his way through the crowd at full tilt.
He managed to get to the vestibule where you go to exit the store (and head out into the parking lot) when I finally caught up to him. I was just about to verbally discipline him, when out of nowhere, I get stopped and asked the question that I'm sure every adult experiences at least once in their lifetime - "Can you spare some change?".
The question appeared to be legitimate as far as appearances go - he wore some tattered clothes (minus the newer looking running shoes, which happened to be the first thing I saw as I was kneeling, about to talk to my son at the time), and the wheels started turning in my head.
"Did I have any spare change?" was he question running through my head - and with both hands occupied - one holding my sprinter child and the other carrying our new born son in a car seat - I had to think instead of reaching into my pockets. I thought back, and remembered that when I ordered my wife's peach pie, and my apple pie, that we each had for dessert, that I indeed used every last penny of change to place the order. "Perfect - what are the odds?" I exclaimed as I handed over every last penny that was in my pocket.
I looked this stranger in the eye and said, "Sorry, I don't have any change. I just spent the last of what I had".
The man took a step further, encroaching on my personal space, and snapped back with "Why does everyone think of change? What about bills?". He was visibly upset and was using a less the pleasant tone. I automatically responded with "...but you had asked for change?". It was then that I realized that this man may have been suffering from some sort of mental issues (although there is no way for me to know for sure, obviously) which could have accounted for the strange response. This was based upon how he started incoherently started mumbling to himself, and through his mannerisms.
I did have a $10 bill sitting in my pocket the whole time.
As I was about to think "do I hand over the 10 dollars or not" my wife exited the restaurant ans as immediately confronted by this man with the same question. She responded a simple but practical (and polite) "no, sorry" and with daughter in one hand, and a diaper bag in another stepped around the man and proceeded to the vehicle.
We then left for home.
Since that time, I have been thinking about this situation and trying to figure out what the best approach would have been given the circumstances, as I'm sure I didn't handle the situation the way God would have wanted me to, so the best I can do now is to prepare for the next situation.
I think, so far, and I will be thinking about this more, would have been for me to take the man into the McDonalds and purchase his meal. That would have been kind, not self-seeking, patient, and not easily angered - all of which are attributes of love, and all of which God has called us Christians to be like.
I'm wondering though - how have you handled this situation in the past, or what suggestions would you have for someone in this situation?
This is a really tough one. On the one hand, I am absolutely convinced that we are called to the kind of radical love that gives indiscriminately and uber generously. We are not better, more judicious dispensers of grace than Jesus is. On the other hand, we have levels and priorities in our vocations. The real question for us family guys is not "how much can I spend myself on strangers and still have enough for my family"; rather, it's "how does my spending myself on my family take shape through giving to strangers"?
ReplyDeleteIf I had been thinking clearly at that moment (and after McD's I rarely am), I would have given him the money and then explained to your prophetic little sprinter that nothing we have is ours, it's all God's, and God is found in a special way in the poor.
But chances are, I would have told my son not to run away again because there are crazies out there.
By the way, Jay, you're on the hook now to write a "Why I Love Jesus+5+meme" post. I tagged you at wdmouse.blogspot.com. Now you need to write the post and then post a link to your post in the comments on my post. If you track it back, you can get to at least two predecessors of mine.
ReplyDeleteHappy writing.
Took me a while to complete, as I had company over tonight, but, was able to complete my rendition of the top 5. Here is the link:
ReplyDeletehttp://myvive.blogspot.com/2011/05/why-i-love-jesus-few-meme.html
I've given change, when I've had it (which is exceedingly rare, since I usually pay Debit). I've on occasion bought grocery store gift certificates, for the express purpose of giving them to people who ask for change. Most often, though, I do what you suggest at the end of your post--I buy the person food directly. One time, a fellow was holding a sign that said "hungry hungry hobo". I appreciated a guy who could have a sense of humour about his condition, so I said, "If you're really hungry, I'll buy you a slice of pizza" (as we were relatively close to a Pizza Pizza. Another time, I was going into a convenience store on a hot summer day, and there was a poor kid out front holding his hat out. I bought him a 2L bottle of water and a sandwich from the store before he even had the chance to "solicit" me.
ReplyDeleteI'm Gregory, btw. A good friend of Joey's, who initially tagged him in the whole "Why I Love Jesus" thing.
Maybe the "change" wasn't about money at all. Maybe it was a call for reflection on your circumstances and how to approach your fellow man. "Can you spare some change?" is a good question for us all to prayerfully reflect on from time to time.
ReplyDelete@Gregory - I really like that you have planned for "unplanned" events such as the one described in the article. I think that is a kind thing to do for someone in need, and not self-seeking, as it is your money investing into someone else's life.
ReplyDelete@Woody - I never thought of the "Can you spare some change" as being me the one with change - and yes - I definitely need change. I somewhat feel like I'm in some sort of a time of observation in my life - like a doctor looking at all the facts before prescribing the medication. I'm hoping I won't be in this stage for too much longer as otherwise I'll still have the same symptoms from before I met with the doctor.