Try, try, and try again

It has been roughly a week and a half since I had written about food controlling my life. I thought it would be worthwhile to provide an update on how I'm attempting to overcome this battle.

While this might look like a weight loss challenge, it definitely isn't. Although I will admit I step on the scale probably too often - and then I have to remind myself why I'm being more careful with the foods I'm eating.

This also isn't a "look how much I lost", but more of "this is what I have experienced" and "this is why God is awesome" kind of a post.

For the first couple of days I struggled a lot. I went to the cupboards and fridge more times than I care to remember. Each time, however, I was able to resist the temptation by both remembering the consequences (excess food = self-seeking = sinning towards God) and secondly by praying for help. I was amazed at how much easier it was to walk away from the snack. I even thought to myself - perhaps this is what it means to deny yourself and take up your cross daily?

Now have I given in to temptation since those early days? Yessir, I have. Especially when company was over, or my wife wanted to order in. Back to my old habits I went. Why oh why do I continue to fail? I turn to God for forgiveness and try again. I have the belief that while I may always have a weakness to poor food choices, I can be sure that God will help me overcome - provided I seek Him in the process.

In short, I have a long way to go to overcome this sin, but as I persevere, I build character, which results in a hope that things will change, and all the while I grow closer to God.

Oh food, why do you torment me so?

I like food. Actually I love food. Sort of. But not really.

The reality is I have a problem with food. Not only do I eat the wrong kinds, but I eat it too often, and I eat too much of it.

Last summer I started to realize, for the first time, that my problems with food is a sin. This sin has been a tough one to leave behind.

I believe that my problem with food is a sin because I'm treating food as a lower-case g god. God was also quite clear about putting other gods before him - so much so that it was the first of the ten commandments. By eating too much, too frequently of the wrong foods, I believe I am putting food before God. That's a problem.

As I had touched upon in a previous post, I also believe my problems with eating is also an issue with loving God, as this is an act of temporarily satisfying my own desires, which to me, is an exercise in being self-seeking.

In the past I have tried different programs to help with my problem - weight watchers, some weird tomato soup diets, and the like. Each time the motivation was the same - to look good, be healthy, and lose weight - which again could be considered self-seeking reasons to change my lifestyle.

Knowing this time around that my food problem is a sin and distancing myself from God, I have decided to do something about it. I believe that to help battle this sin, I will need to take up my cross daily - put away my selfish desires - and focus on God the entire time I feel like grabbing another calorie-laden snack.

Do I think I am going to fail this time around? Of course I do. I have every other time. The difference I believe between this time and others is that the motivation is to love God.

With God's help I can remove this sin from my life.