Oh food, why do you torment me so?

I like food. Actually I love food. Sort of. But not really.

The reality is I have a problem with food. Not only do I eat the wrong kinds, but I eat it too often, and I eat too much of it.

Last summer I started to realize, for the first time, that my problems with food is a sin. This sin has been a tough one to leave behind.

I believe that my problem with food is a sin because I'm treating food as a lower-case g god. God was also quite clear about putting other gods before him - so much so that it was the first of the ten commandments. By eating too much, too frequently of the wrong foods, I believe I am putting food before God. That's a problem.

As I had touched upon in a previous post, I also believe my problems with eating is also an issue with loving God, as this is an act of temporarily satisfying my own desires, which to me, is an exercise in being self-seeking.

In the past I have tried different programs to help with my problem - weight watchers, some weird tomato soup diets, and the like. Each time the motivation was the same - to look good, be healthy, and lose weight - which again could be considered self-seeking reasons to change my lifestyle.

Knowing this time around that my food problem is a sin and distancing myself from God, I have decided to do something about it. I believe that to help battle this sin, I will need to take up my cross daily - put away my selfish desires - and focus on God the entire time I feel like grabbing another calorie-laden snack.

Do I think I am going to fail this time around? Of course I do. I have every other time. The difference I believe between this time and others is that the motivation is to love God.

With God's help I can remove this sin from my life.

A Laundry Basket of Love

I often miss the obvious. My wife will leave a basket full of laundry in front of the staircase basically indicating to me that I am to carry these dirty clothes to the laundry room, and I will walk around, over, or even sometimes move the basket out of the way so that I can walk down the stairs, all the while leaving the basket behind.

I'm not doing this for any particular reason other than I'm not really paying attention to what my wife is saying. I have been married almost 8 years and this sort of thing still happens.

I've also been a Christian now for over 10 years, and yet I still miss the obvious in my spiritual life, too.

Tonight while with some really good Christian friends of mine the verse regarding "husbands, love your wives the way Christ loves the church" kept repeating itself in my head.

When I got home I looked up this passage and read the rest of Ephesians chapter 5 starting at verse 25. "He who loves his wife loves himself". I missed this before. I must have walked around this basket too.

Knowing the definition of love from 1st Corinthians 13 is really helping me to understand what is being said here in that I should be patient with my wife, kind to her, not envious, not boastful towards her, not proud to her, not rude to her, not self seeking, not easily angered, not keeping record of her wrongs, not delighting in evil but rejoicing in the truth, always protecting her, always trusting her, always hoping for her, always perseveres with her, and never failing her.

It's really beautiful, isn't it? And after all, why shouldn't it be beautiful, since my wife is that way already?

Whining is not loving

It is the reason why I should be satisfied for not winning an argument with my wife about what I would like to do with my time, why I should be eating healthy, and why I should be happy to concede to do what God wants me to do rather than what I would prefer to do.

Love is... not self-seeking.

In my opinion, out of all the attributes about love found in 1st Corinthians 13 it is the most difficult one to live by. It gets me every time.

I found over the last year that when I argue with my wife I find that if I live by this love attribute then the argument quickly gives way. Any time I'm headed down the road of "I want..." I am running in opposition with "love is not self-seeking". In my mind, the only time the "I want" statement wins out over someone else's "I want" is when the other person is wanting something that God would not want. In this situation, the greatest commandment wins because we are to love God with all our heart, mind, soul, and strength which will trump the second commandment of "love your neighbour as yourself".

Anytime I start eating too much food or the improper foods I believe I am also being self-seeking. This is a great struggle for me, as I seem to eat way too much of the wrong foods. Desiring bad food because it tastes good is in my mind self-seeking because I'm looking to satisfy my own desires. This is going to be an area I hope to address sooner rather than later.

I have found that inconveniencing myself for the sake of others (and especially God) is a great way for others (and God) to know that you love them, and when I do so, I believe I'm living out the first and second greatest commandments.

Believe it or not, I am actually a Canadian

You might not think I am a Canadian. I will be watching my first NHL hockey game of the 2010-2011 season tonight. Since the NHL lockout occurred several years ago I said to myself that I would give up watching hockey games "for a while". These days, I tune in to watch an NHL game only when it is the Stanley Cup finals, and only when it is an elimination game on the line. (Just for the record, I did the same for MLB baseball when they went on strike in '94, and didn't return to watching or listening to any games until the 2004 season).

While I was driving to a doctors appointment this morning, and thinking about the game I will be watching tonight as the Boston Bruins host the Vancouver Canucks, an image popped into my head. It was an image of no particular hockey player, but one of a toothless hockey player who has given it their all to have a chance to win sports most famous trophey.

I thought about the physical trauma that the hockey players endure throughout a season - lost teeth, broken bones, bruised bodies - as players throw their bodies at other plays and drop in front of a frozen hard piece of rubber that was launched like a bullet out of a gun from a defensemen's slapshot - just to have a chance at winning a trophy that upon winning, the players are only able to sign out for a day, and have their name engraved on the side.

After having this mental image, I was immediately reminded about how God wants us as Christians to live our lives - as living sacrifices. God wants us to give it our all - to endure hardships, to endure pain, to endure trauma - towards loving others.

After all, our prize is worth much more than a cup, isn't it?

I wish Jesus had children

My wife had a dentist appointment today, which meant that I would be the only parent home to watch our three children. Seeing as I will be going back to work in less than a month I have been cautious to not complain about being home alone to watch our children as soon my wife will be doing the same but full time.

It was during this time that my 2 month had his first bowel movement in about four days. And boy was there some movement. It moved outside the diaper, through his clothes, and onto his receiving blanket. At the same time, my two year old daughter also had her movement. While I was trying to clean up my newborn son, my four year old son turned off his ears and turned the basement upside down. Before I was done changing the first diaper, my four year old made his way upstairs and parked himself onto the toilet and joined in on the fun. Meanwhile, my daughter made her way to the main floor and started to turn that floor upside down.

Then the phone rang. My wife was coming home shortly. I needed to get everything cleaned up before she got home.

I was so frustrated and I lost my cool and half-yelled at my older two children for making a mess.

It was during the evening when I had my shower that I thought about all that happened. Then the thought crossed my mind - if Jesus had children, how would he have handled all this? I first thought of how Jesus let the children come to him, and how he was so kind to them. "But he was only with them for a little bit, not all day" I thought to myself. "It's kind of like when grandparents see your children for a little bit - that's easier when you can hand the children back to the parents," I reasoned to myself.

Then just as quickly I received my answer. I'm adopted. By Jesus. I'm his child. Not only that, but he has millions of adopted children - many who at times make a mess of things and stop listening to Him, just like me.

Wow. So that means that Jesus would have been patient, kind, not rude, not easily angered, and would have persevered, and wouldn't have failed.

All the things I wasn't. I wish I thought about all of this during the situation - it would have made for a much more pleasant morning for everyone.

Who is cotton eyed Joe anyway?

Where did you come from, where did you go? Where did you come from, cotton-eyed Joe? I'll admit, I really have no idea what those song lyrics mean, but when I tried to think of some witty intro to this post that was the first thing that popped into my mind. I really hope that song isn't about something offensive!

These last few weeks I have been introduced to several new terms such as apostolic succession and transubstantiation. After having some conversations with some friends, and spending several hours reading various websites (a lot of those hours on wikipedia), as well as reading various facebook conversations, I have come to one conclusion: I can no longer avoid the topic of church history.

You see, history was one of my least favourite subjects in school. It was something that was rarely discussed in my house when I was growing up. And to add to that, church history.

So now when all of these terms are being passed around, and I have never heard of them, despite attending church the last ten years of my life, I'm really starting to wonder about what happened between the time the period that the Bible covers to where the church is at today. What about all the denominations? What about the reformation? Who were the early church fathers, and what did they have to say?

I'm also curious about church denominations. Seeing that I had only stumbled upon a Pentecostal church, which is the only church I have chosen to attend (outside of a campus church which is where I initially attended, also by circumstance, considering I never went to post-secondary school), I think it is important for me to ensure I should be going to a Pentecostal church.

All this thinking lately has left me with an uncomfortable feeling - one where my stomach doesn't quite feel settled. I'm sure it's all of the "what if" type questions that I have been asking myself lately, because I know that at some point I'm going to draw some sort of conclusion - maybe I will come to the conclusion that I belong at a Pentecostal church after all, but then again, maybe not, at which point I'll need to find a new church to belong to.

In the end, I believe that this is a necessary step in growing my relationship with Jesus, as He is the one I love, and I want to be faithful to Him. I want to go where He wants me to be. I just need to figure out where that is.

As for cotton eyed Joe, I'll let someone else figure out what's up with that. I want to learn more about the church's history.